ACCOMPLISHMENT

Well, a friend of mine did a fabulous thing; she began each of her post with a word that began with the corresponding letter of the alphabet. Each post was the next letter. I am copying that idea now!

So today's word is ACCOMPLISHMENT!

I came to this conclusion on accident. I learned that it feels really good to accomplish things. I think my scope of thinking was too broad to feel this before. Here is an example of what I'm talking about...I would not feel like I had accomplished something unless I did all the steps, i.e. cleaning...I wouldn't feel like I had done the complete job of cleaning if my entire house was not completely picked up, scrubbed, shined, and organized. Well, that task was way too overwhelming and I never got to finish it so I never felt success. I became defeated and did not feel good about myself. I have had enough opportunities in my life to feel like a complete failure so I sometimes would not even try...

However, recently I found myself doing a few odd jobs, like

1. unload the dishwasher
2. water my plants
3. paint my toenails

I know these are not major under takings but still after I did them I was pleased that instead of not trying anything at all, I had picked a few jobs and found I ACCOMPLISHED them! It felt good. I was so delighted and it gave me a sense of empowerment that I was able to do things and made me want to do more!!!!

So for today's "assignments" I did GREAT! I was able to put in a full day of work, assessed my students, balanced my checkbook,got my hair cut, went to the store and got a new hose and sprinkler and dog food for Molly, went to the tanning bed, hooked up the hose and sprinkler watered all my plants, made tea, heated dinner, and last but not least...got back to my blog! WOW! The list is pretty long! Is there more I wish I could have squeezed into my day? Like exercise? Absolutely! However, I don't have to do every possible task in one day...I just have to do things!

I will sleep good tonight knowing that I had a high accomplishment day! I will get up tomorrow morning and it will be a brand new opportunity for me to see how much I can get done and find out how much I can ACCOMPLISH!

Well...

Well, obviously I did not post pictures of my outfit the night of my date. I didn't chicken out, I simply just ran out of time. I am usually ready for an event right on time not early, and unfortunately my date makes it a point to never be late and in fact came early! HA! Really? How unfortunate for him. He came at 6:20...that's 10 minutes early which meant it was going to be 10 minutes until I was ready, lol! Well, I did the only thing I knew to do...I text him and said hang on I'll be right there. I put getting ready into overdrive and hurried to the door. He came in and told me I looked nice. We left and went to dinner and it was a really good time! At one point I asked him about a game on my phone and he came around to my side of the booth and helped me play. It was really fun and really comfortable. He brought me home and came in for a little while and we talked and talked and laughed. He asked if he could take me out again and I said yes. The next night he was out and stopped by, the next night I was out and he stopped by when I got home. Then I had plans Friday night and he had plans Saturday night. He came over Sunday night and Monday night and then came over Wednesday night. Does anyone notice the pattern here? He came over....he came over....etc. Here's the problem. He has not asked me out again. He just keeps coming over to visit. And I am really enjoying his company and enjoying getting to know him. We laugh together and talk. We are really comfortable around each other! I am really happy with him but it is a little sad that we aren't going dating. However, in all fairness he has been sick and really not feeling very well. My friend Cindy has suggested I give him a little pass since he is sick. So, I will give him a little pass, but after that, I think we will need to have a little conversation! Which I don't want to do because I am bad at confrontation. LOL! So that's it for now, I will update later!

Single Life

Well, it is happening again...I am on First Date Eve. While this has a slight holiday ring to it, like Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve, it is NOT a holiday. It is the night before a first date. Not my first date ever, just the first date with this new friend. Well, I have already had time to panic, freak out, over think, and over analyze. Fortunately for me I have the most amazing support system. I have gone over almost every detail of my short friendship with this person in my head, to my mom, my sister, my best friends, my co-workers who are also some of my very best friends and they have patiently listened and talked me down off the crane! They have encouraged me, sometimes forcefully, to go and have a good time. I must say, I would love to go and have a good time. I even have begun to look forward to the event, but there are still a few jitters inside.

I can honestly say I have begun to feel excited about going to dinner tomorrow night. I have picked out what I am going to wear, which is new (always good!), I have shoes (wish they were new and so does my friend Hayley, smile),I have chosen my accessories, I know the location, and the time! In fact, I even know my friend better now. We have actually talked a few different times today which has really put me more at ease!

I have no idea how this will turn out...I can't even guess, because if I begin guessing than I will begin thinking about every possibility of the evening and how I feel, and how he feels, which will then put pressure on me and then I will begin to rethink which leads to the over thinking and the over analyzing and can bring on a full blown panic attack! Don't scoff in disbelief thinking I am exaggerating. I assure you that even though I have been known to over dramatize things...this is the truth. I have caused myself to have a panic attack over a date-just in anticipation, and I have made myself physically sick. I don't know why, can't answer that one for you! However, I have been praying for a long time for a guy to meet me and just be interested in me. I hate blind dates and internet dating...for one reason because they have not been successful for me (obviously, or I wouldn't be single) and the second reason being, if they don't know me or haven't seen me I must worry about what they will think of my physical appearance, my personality, my outfit, and if I talk too much (probably:)) so that is why I prefer for a guy to meet me and then want to take me out. This has not happened in awhile so it was a lovely surprise when I met this guy just 2 weeks ago while hanging out with my friend Stretch, and we became friends. Then he asked me out! I am loving that I prayed that would happen one day and BOOM! the Lord answered that specific prayer.

I have no idea what will happen at dinner tomorrow night or after dinner. This may be the one and only date or it may develop into more dates...but regardless of the outcome I am thankful that I prayed to the Lord and He heard my request!

I'll keep you posted on the dating situation! And I might even get a picture on here of my outfit, but no promises. There is a great chance I will chicken out of that one! :)

So, time for bed, I would hate to have dark circles under my eyes tomorrow night! :)

A New Life for Me Starts Today!

I have a new found obsession. I now love, love, love twitter. I had always thought of twitter as some ridiculous idea. My knowledge of it was thinking that everyone was tweeting about minor details in their own lives like if they were going to starbucks, or wal-mart, or what they ate for dinner. I found myself totally uninterested in this. However, my brother informed me one evening that he had started following our pastor on twitter. He did this because our pastor had recently become no longer the pastor at Second Baptist. My family and I were greatly saddened by the events and my brother felt like he could keep up with the pastor by following him. When I heard of this idea I immediately got on twitter. I began following the pastor, his wife, and his daughter. As I became followers of them I could see people they were following. Our pastor was following some other preachers. I could look at some of what they were posting and it was much better than just casual information like what was for dinner. Instead, they would post little thoughts about deeper things. It was like little mini Bible studies posted all throughout the day. They gave me things to think about, and things to apply to my life. I now follow countless numbers of people. There are certainly occasional tweets about places they are going, or things they are doing, which I don't mind, but my favorite things are the snippets I read that apply directly to my life.

I began following Women of Faith on twitter. Everyday they post a link to a daily devotion. Today as I clicked on the link I had an epiphany. The Lord totally opened up my eyes to a detail! The devotion was about Peter, the disciple who denied knowing Jesus when He was on the cross, thus making him one of my favorite disciples; not because of his denial, of course, but because even though he had faults and he failed the Lord, he was forgiven. I feel so relieved of guilt when I myself partake in or receive the Lord's forgiveness. But getting back to the devotion now, it was written by Sheila Walsh today and I want to share them on here. She said, "Have you messed up? Perhaps you are ashamed to even face what you have done. It may have been something that caused harm not just to you but to others. If so, have the faith to remember that with God all things can be made new. Your past is just that. But your future in Him is limitless. All God looks for is a desire to begin moving in the right direction, and he will be there to embrace you." I LOVED IT! It was nothing I had not known or heard before or even used when talking to others. Today though it hit me differently. Here are the lines that I got so hung up on, Your past is just that. But your future in Him is limitless." Did you read that the way I did? Your past is just that...it's the past! Yahoo! I got it! I mean I do have a past but I always consider my past as long ago and far away, just not long enough ago and far enough away for me to forget it. But according to scripture, it actually IS! My bad decisions in my past have been forgiven and He remembers them no more, they are as far as the East is from the West. I can't really fathom all that that entails but I know it means He doesn't remember them, only I choose to do that and to keep going back to them and dredging them up so that I can feel guilty and bad and ashamed. Not anymore! I'm all done with that! Past is past and my future is limitless.

Another epiphany I had concerning the devotion, due to recent events in my life I am sure, was that "your past" does not have to mean only big, bad, ugly mistakes I have made. It can also mean just life in general that you have already gone through. It doesn't even have to mean mistakes, it can be as simple as yesterday because yesterday is in the past. And the past is O.V.E.R.! Hello! What great news! I can get pretty bogged down in my past. For instance, I in the past have not been successful in dieting, faithful in exercise, nor have I found myself to be very disciplined, etc. But all of those things are in the past. My future, according to the devotion, is absolutely limitless. Anything I want to change I can change. I know me and I can get a bit bogged down in my status of being single. I get all sad sometimes not really because I am single, but more about the fact that there is no guy who is "after me". I proudly wear the "poor rejected me" outfit and solicit others sympathy. Every time I think there might be a prospect of a guy I begin my negative thinking and mantra of, "I would really like things to finally work out with a guy, but I'm not getting my hopes up because as we can all see, up to this point it hasn't." My family and friends listen to me drone on and on about this. I don't mean to complain and whine about it but I do because there is significant hurt inside. But all the rejection I have chosen to hold on to, because that's all there is to hold on to once the guy has exited my life like his hair was on fire, is no longer going to be my constant companion! It is now also in the past. Was I rejected? Yes, sometimes, sometimes it just didn't work out for either of us. Did it hurt? Yep! But that rejection is in the past. I am going to start over, right now, right this very minute! I am embracing a fresh start. I will not let my past behavior dictate today's behavior! I have a new life today! I will not compare any of my yesterday's to today. Today is a new day. Today is a new right now. It is a FABULOUS now and a great time to start my new FABULOUS life! Woo Hoo!

My Fabulous Friends

I love my friends! I am so thankful for them. I was raised in a FABULOUS home where we all shared everything. We were always free to share our feelings, our opinions, literally everything! Therefore as an adult I still like to share everything. However, I am single and live alone so when I come home there is no one here to share my day with, or cry to, or laugh with. I still to this day call my mom all the time and share things with her but since there is no husband to share with the Lord has given me some FABULOUS friends! My friends are such good listeners. They are so very supportive and can also talk some sense into me when I begin to overthink, overanalyze, and spin out of control! My friends really care. They will call or text me to check on me. And we all laugh together and can be ourselves when we are together. I don't have a fabulous husband, but I sure have some Fabulous Friends! Thank you Lord for the blesing of my friends!

Bring Back the Fabulous

Well, lately my life has been lacking just a little bit of fabulousness. Remember on my last post I was discussing my new fabulous furniture and it's quick arrival...well it didn't happen exactly that way. Rooms to Go was not able to make that delivery, they called and said that some of the furniture would arrive on Friday, December 3 and the rest of it would be delivered on the following Tuesday, December 7. I told them that I was not able to take off two days of work to get the furniture so I would just wait until the 7th and get all of my furniture. I then asked if I would be able to pick up my t.v. which was part of the promotion on Saturday or did I need to wait until Sunday. The operator on the phone informed me that I would not be able to pick up the t.v. until 5 BUSINESS days after my furniture delivery...which makes it Tuesday December 14. I was a little sad but it was ok.

Jump to Monday, December 6. I receive a phone call late afternoon telling me all of my furniture would be delivered the next day except the chair. The chair would be delivered on Tuesday, December 14. I told them that was not possible because I had scheduled the delivery this way so that I would not have to take off work 2 days. It is a VERY busy time of year in kindergarten and I NEED to be there. So not sympathetically at all, in fact rather flippantly, she told me ok then we will deliver the chair on Saturday, December 18. AS IF this would be fine with me and that her job was done. I WAS DISPLEASED, AGGRIVATED, and DISAPPOINTED! And she didn't even care. Circumstances being what they were I had no choice but to call my mother and vent to her. She very calmly stated, "Angie, you can't sit on three things at once. Just sit on the couch and the loveseat until the chair comes." Well, I'm sure if I could have understood what she was saying I would have been offended that she was not as appalled as I was but no worries there because she was now speaking a language I am not fluent in...the language of logic.

So, I get myself home and am working to remove things from my living room like picture frames, laptop, etc. things that will be in the way when my dad comes with his truck to pick up the old furniture in my living room. Then I receive another phone call from my mom to say that my dad's truck is still in the shop and dad can't move the furniture out! PANIC mode! So I figured, fine we'll just slide this stuff out to the patio. I then left my home to go to mom's for dinner. When it was time to get back to my house my dad was coming with me and states that he is trying to come up with an idea to just move furniture around in my house so that all of my new and old furniture will fit. We worked, and worked, and worked! It made me so sad that at one point I did actually break down because things just weren't going the way I pictured them in my little mind.

But the furniture did come on Tuesday! I was so excited! I LOVE IT!!!!! Unfortunately, dad's truck is STILL in the shop and therefore my old furniture is still combined with the new furniture and did I mention I thought I would also unpack ALL my Christmas decorations!It is amazing that I would think the perfect answer to my situation would be to add a little holiday chaos! But I did because I just had to see my decor with my new furniture and I needed to see the Christmas decorations in the kitchen since this year it is painted like I wanted it!

The GOOD NEWS is it looks like the fabulousness is on a direct path to my front door! My dad's truck is supposed to be fixed tomorrow and my brother is off work so supposedly my old furniture will exit my home! Hurray! The next thing to look forward to is my dad said he will try his best to pick up my t.v. on Wednesday! Then on Saturday (4 weeks later than originally thought) my chair will be delivered! So if you can stand it wait for the last bit of good news...Friday is the last day of school before Christmas break! So I have 2 full weeks of vacation with a house full of new furniture, a new t.v. to catch up on all my dvr-ed shows, Christmas decorating finished, and now time to finish up my shopping, wrapping all my presents (for others), and some Christmas baking, and of course cramming in all my favorite holiday movies!

Yes, I can't wait...Here comes the FABULOUS!